Making Up My Mind
by hotleather
Summary: Bella goes over her possibilities of her "soon to come vampire life" after talking with Jacob.Takes place after Eclipse but before Breaking Dawn.
1. Chapter 1

I was sitting in front of Charlie's house.I haven't seen Edward because he was out hunting.

Jacob walked toward me with a huge grin on his came back from his little "trip."

"What would you do if Edward died,Bella?" Jacob asked me.

If Edward idea horrified me,but I could have Jacob.

I didn't want to think of that possibility,so I shrugged."I would still have you,Jake."

He smiled my favorite smile." I would take care of you.I would love you more than that leech ever

could,"he told me.

I frowned."He is not a 's a person,too,"I said.

He brought his warm hands to my face.I looked at him and he returned my gaze.

In the next instant,he brought his face closer to mine and kissed me.

"Jacob!I'm engaged!Why did you kiss me?"I asked him.

He smirked."Just because you're engaged to a filthy bloodsucker doesn't mean I can't kiss you,Bella."He leaned down to

kiss me again.

I was about to let him kiss me but nudged him away from me.

"He isn't a monster, to understand that,"I told him.

"I don't want to understand!We are natural of us can only thing we understand is the

need to kill each the only things stopping us are the treaty and you,Bella,"Jacob exclaimed.

"Why am I stopping you?"I asked as I looked off into the distance.

He sighed."We don't want to hurt you."

"I'm perfectly fine,"I snapped.

" see,you love both of we don't like seeing you hurt,"he whispered.

I nodded."'s why it's hard for me to have to choose between the two of you,"I said.

He closed his eyes."And you still are going to marry him,"he told me.

I crossed my legs and covered my face with my hands.I felt the lump forming in my throat and the tears fall down my face.

"Bella?"a voice in the distance asked.

I looked up to see Emmett walking toward me.

"She's fine,"Jacob sneered.

"Doesn't look that way,Dog,"Emmett spat.

I rubbed my temple."What is it,Emmett?"I asked.

"Trouble at was a...disagreement,"he answered.

I stood up."Let's go now,"I told him.

"Now?You're all too eager to get away from me,aren't you?"Jacob asked with anger in his voice.

I sighed."Not now,okay?Later.I have to you around,'t run off again,"I told Jacob.

He glared,and a shiver went down his then turned away and ran.

"Come on,I brought my Jeep,"Emmett said.

Since Emmett was a maniac when it came to driving,something he and the rest of his family had in common,we arrived at

his house instantly.

Right before he stopped the Jeep I undid my seat belt,opened the passenger side door,and tripped after I got out of the Jeep.

"Please tell me I'm not bleeding,"I told Emmett.

He laughed."No,you're ,I'll help you up,"he said,and held out his hand for me to grab.

After I grabbed it I rushed for the I could reach the knob the door opened with Alice behind it.

"Bella!Oh,I'm so glad you could come to the party!"she looked at my tank top and jeans I was then

frowned."you fell down again.I swear,you are the clumsiest person alive!"

I blushed."I guess I can't help but fall everywhere I party?"I asked.

Emmett walked inside smiled."Come 'll see,"she answered.I noticed she was wearing a light blue dress.

I was a surprise inside and I wouldn't like it.

I walked inside to a beautiful scene that looked like it belonged inside a were white roses everywhere.

Edward's piano had three cream colored candles on it.

"Well,you're having a surprise engagement party!It was Edward's and I set things up,"Alice came

down the stairs in a grey tux and stood behind her.

Rosalie soon came from the dining room wearing a forest green colored dress."I had told Emmett what to say to you to get

you down ,it worked without a hitch,"she laughed.

"Emmett,you had better change for the party,"Alice ordered while looking at Jasper.

Emmett walked up the stairs and disappeared for a after,he came down in a navy blue tux.

**Don't own twilight, the character names, or the plot of twilight books.**

"Who says I'm staying for the party?"I asked.I was hoping for them to be distracted so I could get away.

"We do,"Esme was wearing a light yellow was beside her in a black tux.

Everyone nodded in agreement to Esme."We planned this to be special, stay,"Alice pleaded.

I couldn't deny though I really wanted to go,I decided to stay.I sighed."Alright.I'll stay,"I replied.

Rosalie came toward me smiling."'s get you dressed and was also my job to pick out a dress for you and

put on your makeup for you,"she said.

In the next instant,she grabbed my arm and we went upstairs to get me ready.


	2. Chapter 2

I was sitting in front of Charlie's house.I haven't seen Edward because he was out hunting.

Jacob walked toward me with a huge grin on his came back from his little "trip."

"What would you do if Edward died,Bella?" Jacob asked me.

If Edward idea horrified me,but I could have Jacob.

I didn't want to think of that possibility,so I shrugged."I would still have you,Jake."

He smiled my favorite smile." I would take care of you.I would love you more than that leech ever

could,"he told me.

I frowned."He is not a 's a person,too,"I said.

He brought his warm hands to my face.I looked at him and he returned my gaze.

In the next instant,he brought his face closer to mine and kissed me.

"Jacob!I'm engaged!Why did you kiss me?"I asked him.

He smirked."Just because you're engaged to a filthy bloodsucker doesn't mean I can't kiss you,Bella."He leaned down to

kiss me again.

I was about to let him kiss me but nudged him away from me.

"He isn't a monster, to understand that,"I told him.

"I don't want to understand!We are natural of us can only thing we understand is the

need to kill each the only things stopping us are the treaty and you,Bella,"Jacob exclaimed.

"Why am I stopping you?"I asked as I looked off into the distance.

He sighed."We don't want to hurt you."

"I'm perfectly fine,"I snapped.

" see,you love both of we don't like seeing you hurt,"he whispered.

I nodded."'s why it's hard for me to have to choose between the two of you,"I said.

He closed his eyes."And you still are going to marry him,"he told me.

I crossed my legs and covered my face with my hands.I felt the lump forming in my throat and the tears fall down my face.

"Bella?"a voice in the distance asked.

I looked up to see Emmett walking toward me.

"She's fine,"Jacob sneered.

"Doesn't look that way,Dog,"Emmett spat.

I rubbed my temple."What is it,Emmett?"I asked.

"Trouble at was a...disagreement,"he answered.

I stood up."Let's go now,"I told him.

"Now?You're all too eager to get away from me,aren't you?"Jacob asked with anger in his voice.

I sighed."Not now,okay?Later.I have to you around,'t run off again,"I told Jacob.

He glared,and a shiver went down his then turned away and ran.

"Come on,I brought my Jeep,"Emmett said.

Since Emmett was a maniac when it came to driving,something he and the rest of his family had in common,we arrived at

his house instantly.

Right before he stopped the Jeep I undid my seat belt,opened the passenger side door,and tripped after I got out of the Jeep.

"Please tell me I'm not bleeding,"I told Emmett.

He laughed."No,you're ,I'll help you up,"he said,and held out his hand for me to grab.

After I grabbed it I rushed for the I could reach the knob the door opened with Alice behind it.

"Bella!Oh,I'm so glad you could come to the party!"she looked at my tank top and jeans I was then

frowned."you fell down again.I swear,you are the clumsiest person alive!"

I blushed."I guess I can't help but fall everywhere I party?"I asked.

Emmett walked inside smiled."Come 'll see,"she answered.I noticed she was wearing a light blue dress.

I was a surprise inside and I wouldn't like it.

I walked inside to a beautiful scene that looked like it belonged inside a were white roses everywhere.

Edward's piano had three cream colored candles on it.

"Well,you're having a surprise engagement party!It was Edward's and I set things up,"Alice came

down the stairs in a grey tux and stood behind her.

Rosalie soon came from the dining room wearing a forest green colored dress."I had told Emmett what to say to you to get

you down ,it worked without a hitch,"she laughed.

"Emmett,you had better change for the party,"Alice ordered while looking at Jasper.

Emmett walked up the stairs and disappeared for a after,he came down in a navy blue tux.

**Don't own twilight, the character names, or the plot of twilight books.**

After a lot of complaints from me,Rosalie finally had gotten me told me she put water proof makeup on me,for Alice

suggested I was bound to cry sometime this was all too beautiful and suited me.

Except for the dark midnight blue dress I was was fit for my the matching heels would give me blisters.

After fixing my hair,Rosalie smiled." look wonderful, something is missing,"she paused and looked at me."I know what it on.I'll be right back."

She walked out of the room.I sighed and looked at my feet.A few minutes later she came back into the room with a small box.

I scoffed."I'm missing a box with my outfit?"

She rolled her eyes."Just open it!"she told me.

As I took the lid off I there was a silver necklace with a sapphire in the shape of a tear on the to it there were earrings and a bracelet to match.

"Oh,I don't know what to for,they're you,"I stammered.

"I'm glad you like 're a gift from handed me the box as I was looking for jewelry for me help you with the necklace,"she said.

I put in the earrings as she put the necklace on me.I was about to put on the bracelet but remembered my charm bracelet.I grabbed it and put it on one sapphire bracelet on the other.

Rosalie raised her eyebrows at the charm bracelet.

"This is very special to me and I don't think I can go anywhere without it,"I stated.

She frowned."If you insist,"she replied.

Alice came into the room."Oh Rose,great job!She looks amazing,"she praised and then looked at me."I think you have been keeping your guests waiting long let's get down there,"she ordered me.

"Wait!I was too busy to ask,but where's Edward?And what kind of party is this?"I asked.

Alice grabbed my arm and sighed."You'll see,"was all she said.

I looked around the room as soon as I got down the was formal.I saw Charlie and Renee' and some other family members of still no Edward.I was beginning to panic.

My heart was beating frantically as I walked across the room.I glanced near Esme and Carlisle but he wasn't there.

I felt incredibly faint until a cold hand touched my was a soft chuckle.

I spun around to see no one standing behind me.

"Are you looking for someone,Miss?"a familiar velvety voice asked.

I looked behind me and saw Edward in a black smiled when he saw me looking at him.

"I thought you were out hunting,"I said.I was getting seemed everyone knew what was going on but me.

"I I couldn't miss my engagement party,could I?''he sighed and touched my face."To see you here,so beautiful,makes me wonder how I could ever deserve being what I am,I can't see what you want with me."He dropped his hand.

I put my hands on his face and looked deeply into his golden eyes."I love you,Edward.I love you and want to love you because you are what you are,doesn't mean you aren't my fiance'.Above everything else,I love matter what,"I whispered.

He took my hands of his face and brought them to his chest,where his heart was."I love you,Bella I met you,I don't know how I would have survived,"he brought my hands to his lips and kissed them softly.

Alice then walked up to us as he took my left hand and held it in his own.

"You two have presents to open!But Edward should open most,because of last time,"she finished slowly.

Last was too painful to even think of that he went away.I winced.

Edward smiled."I don't want Bella to cut her pretty little we,Bella?"he teased.

I blushed."I'm not that accident prone,you know,"I told him.

Alice rolled her eyes."Bella,you can't even take a walk without hurting ,while trying to get out of Emmett's jeep,you fell!"she stated.

I didn't know what to say to that,so I shut my mouth and walked with Edward toward our presents.I hoped I didn't trip on the way there.

"Did you know about this party?"I asked Edward.

He looked at me."This is a party and not a formal ball?I'm absolutely shocked,"he teased.

"I feel like I'm the only one who didn't know there was going to be a I the only one?"I asked him while ignoring his teasing.

He chuckled."No,you're not the only one.I didn't know they were planning this,either,"he answered.

"Emmett tricked said there was a disagreement and I thought it involved I came over here immediately,"I sighed.

Edward's jaw clenched."You thought I was in trouble and decided to come here?What if you had been hurt in the process of coming here?If I had really been hurt?"he outraged.

"I was worried for your safety,"I whispered.

"My safety?If I ever lose you Bella,I..."he began.

" don't remind me of Italy.I almost lost you when you thought you lost we won't lose each other,Edward,"I interrupted.

He closed his eyes and exhaled."Thank you,'re right.I'm sorry.I was being rash.I worry too,"he whispered.


End file.
